Note: At the time of this writing, I am in Portland which as you can imagine, says wonders providing how I’m only just starting to cover about my adventures in Seattle. It seems necessary to convey my current thoughts, lest these pleasant moments escape me.
When I left Vancouver at the beginning of March, it was due to a combination of a broken heart, a tiredness for the same routine in life, and an overwhelming feeling of sadness. It is true, I can agree to this, that out on the open road and into an unfamiliar place there is room for growth and change. The people you encounter, should you permit yourself to openness and acceptance, will not only captivate you but also inspire as well.
I had left BC with the intention of exploring the world, seeking restoration and confidence, and it was with a lonely heart that I shouldered my belongings before heading into the strange unknown. Perhaps at the time of this writing, I have been fortunate – both in the privileges that have enabled me to progress and in terms of my encounters, denying that would be foolishness and I expect hardships ahead.
What I have discovered is a kind of humility that is rare in today’s society, that is by witnessing firsthand the struggles of others, hearing their experiences, have since changed my outlook on my compassion and concern to my fellow man. It seems strange that I find myself saying these things because to be honest, I too am capable of being self-centered and acute of good will and faith. My journey in its current progress has revealed a message that I believe, more than anything else, is necessary to share with everyone.
Regardless of my background and personality, I have long been a person that has taken refuge in solitude and kept to myself, the lack of communication and honesty I shared to others has left relationships in deficit. When it was I first began my lifestyle in the alternative, it was without the means of support and too often I doubted my own association with the strange and taboo. Fear replaced admittance, denial took place of truth – these things being an unforgivable mistake, often caused by societal views and peer pressure.
In time I began to accept this as a fact and in that realization, I became free to live as I chose, and all that was left was to let go of those fears and simply accept the truth. That one should find themselves questioning the support of others is blindness in itself, but frankly my clarity now has been restored. I have found a place in this harsh and unforgiving world, full of prejudice and ignorance still, a kind of strength that is often dormant but when released can never be replaced. It is the sole driving force behind my journey’s progress, that is remembering that no matter what, one can never be alone.
That strength, that message, is love.
It is not the kind of love you develop for a person or an object, it is a love for a concept and an deal, a driving force and motivation; that kind of love is called passion, it holds together a person’s integrity and if removed can destroy them entirely. Passion is fueled by an unquestioning capacity to defy any obstacle to support its root and purpose, it is a love that has driven men and women (and everyone inbetween) to build cities and foundations, movements and culture. It has brought people together and torn them apart, abused it is perhaps the most destructive element in the entire universe.
The very dynamic of a community and a society is the capacity to share that passion with your fellows, regardless of what issues that may exist between everyone; it is the capacity for compassion and tolerance that creates the strength and support for one another, reminding everyone that they are never truly alone. At times people fall prey to cynicism and experience can harden an individual; perhaps then more than ever, it is important to remember put aside our inhibitions and benefit the majority as a whole.
Each person has their issues and likewise they have their own inner demons. These things shape and define everyone, provides us with an identity, makes us whole and unique. Integrity is the strength of the individual truth and self honesty, an understanding of what one is truly capable of doing and to who they choose to share that with. The rapidly changing cultures and movements can often seclude and confuse a person from such truths about themselves, and floundered they drift away into isolation and bitterness. We must never forget that the foundations of the old and the new must be driven together, must benefit everyone, and tell them – there is a place that exists, that can only be found by personal courage, and they are not alone.
In that I have felt the love of those not unlike me, their ability to relate and connect, their kindness and their acceptance has fueled my inner strength and will beyond all measure. It is not something, by own nature, that I can simply take for granted. In realizing this it seems even more necessary to project this out to those still wandering out in the world, afraid and dejected at times. More than ever, the road has become a quest in measure far beyond its original purpose – that is to carry that message, that love and passion, wherever it is I go.
That should I live to be a hundred years of age, I do not think I would ever forsake these truths about my fellow man; that as capable as I am, that is a deviant amongst many, to so readily leave without warning, and set forth into the world with nothing but a stubborn sense of hope; that a bitter and troubled young man can find the strength to live and learn, to love and accept, is a choice that I will hang onto even to the very end. Let this be a mantra for myself to live by and damned before I go against it.
It is important then that I say this, that the message I carry to New York will be one of love, that the flag I carry represents an entirety of a movement and to remind everyone that nobody is truly ever alone. There will always be a place in the world for even the strange and bizarre, a place for the miscreants and drifters – for after all, normal is only relative. If that is indeed what a person truly is, how can it truly be considered wrong?
We are the strange and we are not alone.