Slappy Jack

Sometime during my stay here in Victoria, after a mild period of shut-in antics due to the presence of rain, the sunlight returns and at the time of this writing, the skies are remarkably clear. On one such occasion, I turn my attention towards the fisherman’s wharf, located at the corner of the city. Here in this part of the city are situated tiny shacks and floating houses. One can purchase the most delicious fish and chips lunch for a reasonable price and at the same time, fend off the would-be theft attempts of the gulls. CAAARWGHL would be ashamed.

FIsherman's Wharf, Victoria BC.

FIsherman’s Wharf, Victoria BC.

I’m eating lunch in peace when my attention is turned towards a group of people circled around the edge of the wharf. Curious, I glance over the edge of the waters and make a new friend.

Why hello.

Why hello.

From the depths of the murky waters, I am introduced to who the locals refer to as Slappy Jack. He is a quiet sort of individual but do not let this fool you – this man is, in fact, very much a deviant little fellow. While friendly at first, he proves to be a hedonist – most of my questions regarding the fetish world are met with the constant stream of self-centered talk about himself. He is the alpha male of his pack which apparently is a polyamorous household. Jack is admittedly a fan of WaterBondage.com.

Slappy Jack after being persuaded to do an interview via means of fresh fish.

Slappy Jack after being persuaded to do an interview via means of fresh fish.

As a local kink-friendly celebrity, he attracts a number of supporters that lovingly support him and his pack with seemingly endless numbers of fish. For a small donation, you too can befriend this remarkable individual, who is candid in his answers regarding anything. Like his pseudonym implies, Slappy Jack is indeed very fond of impact play, as one unfortunate individual discovered when he splashes her in the face. Consent, Jack, remember that.

Slappy Jack and his partner.

Slappy Jack and his partner.

Interestingly enough, Slappy Jack disappears momentarily into the waters and reemerges with his play partner. According to him, she has yet to earn a name in his household and their relationship is best described as being very much primal players. Without warning, they wrestle and bite at one another, enough for Jack to lay down the law with a firm slap to the face. These two play very rough even by scene standards. He identifies with the Green Party mostly for their environmental-friendly policies. Otherwise Jack is mostly a laidback individual, who often disappears under the water whenever asked about his political beliefs or the Fifty Shades trilogy.

Not pictured: The violent water splashing upon told about the upcoming Fifty Shades movie.

Not pictured: The violent water splashing upon told about the upcoming Fifty Shades movie.

Slappy Jack is a firm believer in Safe, Sane and Consensual conduct. Due to the nature of his poly household, provided that we were technically in his living room, don’t be surprised if he and his partners exhibit uncontrolled fooling around from time to time. Upon asked about how long he’s been in the aqua-fetish scene, Jack shrugs for a second before flashing me a wink.

Clever bastard.

Clever bastard.

There you have it, dear readers, Victoria’s own kink-friendly polyamorous seal. He momentarily waves goodbye as the rain began to fall, retreating back to the depths to engage in voracious acts of debauchery with his partners.

You should have seen his vegan-friendly custom flogger. Seriously.

You should have seen his vegan-friendly custom flogger. Seriously.

Next Update: Wherein yours truly goes on a ghost walk, terrified of unexplainable noises in the dead of night.

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